WOWSIGN
by Atlan
Summary: World of Warcraft .HACKSIGN crossover. When Akane gets kidnapped, Ranma must rescue her again. But when her kidnapper is an omipressent AI, and Akane dosn't remember being a girl, it's time for a different stratagy...


Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½, Sailor Moon, Vampire Princess Miyu, Cromartie High, Gold Diggers, No Need for Tenchi, World of Warcraft, or .HACK//SIGN. I just get nightmares from playing WOW after watching . HACK. Pretty understandable, really.

* * *

Akane stomped up the stairs of the Tendo household. It had been one hell of a day. She had almost ended up married! Married, to that idiotic Ranma! That stupid, insensitive sweet idiot! Akane shook her head. Where did that thought come from? Sweet? He hadn't even said that he loved her… except for that one time. At Mount Phoenix. At least, she thought he'd said that. But then he'd said that he hadn't said it! Ohhh, it made her so mad!

She opened her bedroom door, and shut it behind her. She walked across the room, and booted up her computer. It had been a present from Nabiki, and was fairly powerful. It surfed the Internet, it sent emails, and most importantly, it gave her an escape from Nerima.

Akane smiled to herself, as she clicked an icon on the desktop. Four months previously, she'd seen this new game for sale. All her friends had talked about it incessantly, and she'd succumbed to curiosity. It was an online game, where over 5 million people played, all competing to be the strongest in a huge world.

And best of all, here she was Someone. Not one of the worst, not the bottom rung of the ladder the way she was in Nerima. But in Azaroth, she was good. No, she was Great. A high level, people would come up to her and ask for advice, for guidance, for help. She was a pillar of the community, and she loved every moment of it.

Akane slipped on the headset, the latest model that combined a headphone/microphone system with a cutting edge screen, and picked up the game pad. She typed in her Username and Password, and grinned.

"Look out, World Of Warcraft. Tsucassa's back!"

* * *

Ryoga looked at the floor in shame. "But… it was a cure… I couldn't let it get away from me.."

Akari swatted him in the head with a stick- the same one she used when training Sumo pigs. "I don't care! You broke up their wedding! After all they went through to get us together, you ruin the happiest day of their lives!?!" She hit him a few more times for good measure. She had a little insecurity about Akane. Akari knew of Ryoga's crush on the tomboy, but was fairly confident that he liked her more. Still, when she heard of him pulling a stunt like this…

"I'm sorry- really!" Ryoga begged his girlfriend. "I didn't even notice they were in the middle of a wedding." He knew how bad it looked.

The pig tamer sighed, and put down the stick. "I believe you. Just don't forget- I don't mind your curse. I think proves how strong you are. So don't hurry on my account."

Ryoga smilled at his girlfriend tenderly. Surely he was the luckiest guy in the world, to have such an understanding girlfriend. Especially one who loved pigs. "Thank you." He looked up. "Hey… since I'm back, do you mind if I…." His voice trailed off suggestively.

Akari giggled. "Sure." She glanced meaningfully towards her bedroom.

"YES!" Ryoga charged up the stairs, not getting lost. For some reason, he never did at Akari's farm, or her house.

He found the door to her bedroom, and sat at the computer. He double clicked an icon on the desktop, and logged in to his secret vice, one known only to Akari: World of Warcraft. He put on the headset, and announced himself.

"LT- logged in!"

* * *

Nabiki Tendo smirked to herself. Today had been a good day. All that money from the wedding, the gifts, and the information was sufficient to buy her a new, top of the line computer! And, of course, a six-month subscription to her favorite game: World of Warcraft!

The middle Tendo sister had seen her little sister playing it one day, and it had caught her interest. Curtsey of a (stolen) ten-day guest pass, Nabiki had logged on from her own computer and given it a try. And found herself addicted.

It wasn't the chance to be powerful that had caught her fancy, nor was it the chance to beat her sister. Nabiki considered herself more powerful than anyone else in Nerima, dues to her information gathering abilities. At any given time, she was capable of manipulating events in her favor; able to call in favors and debts to cause almost any outcome she wanted.

World of Warcraft gave her the one thing she lacked: a fresh start.

In Nerima, everyone knew her. She was Nabiki Tendo, the Ice Queen. She was cold, manipulative, someone you couldn't trust not to milk you for all you were worth. She had no feelings; she never did something because she felt like it, it all was part of a plan.

Indeed, the girl was a victim of her own success. But in World of Warcraft, she had nothing in common with how anyone knew her. She was rash, idiotic, spontaneous, prone to betrayal for no reason other than the entertainment value. She was an idiot, and she was a guy.

Nabiki, at her computer, smiled to herself, and read the screen.

Sora, Logging in.

* * *

"Amiiii! Come on! Don't spend all day inside! It's a beautiful day!" Usagi pleaded with her nerdish friend, Ami Mizuno.

"I have homework to do, Usagi. Perhaps later." The meatball-headed blond sighed in defeat, and wandered off. Ami giggled lightly, and went back inside her house. If only she knew…

Usagi may have thought that Ami was going to study all day, but nothing could be further from the truth. She also probably thought that Ami was going to see no one but her computer and books, and that was only half true. "After all," Ami mussed to herself, "You don't have to be outside to meet people."

Ami had started playing World of Warcraft shortly before she first met Usagi, as a way of socializing with people. Ironically, she had played as a mage, specializing in frost magic. Considering that she would come to spend a lot of her time as a sailor suited defender of love and justice, it might have been destiny at work.

In the World of Warcraft, she was one of the biggest celebrities around, almost a queen. She watched over the new players, aiding them where she could and keeping them safe. She even led her guild, the Crimson Knights, defenders of Elwyn Forest. She had the official sanction of the Blizzard corporation, creators and administrators of the game.

Ami's fast fingers sped over the keyboard, typing at speeds usually reserved for professional programmers. A high-speed camera might have noted the username she used was the same as her character name: Subaru.

* * *

Gina Diggers was bored. She hadn't found any new tombs for over a week, and her dear sister was off visiting her boyfriend, Strype. Brianna was off somewhere, questing for the nearest tuna factory. Her mother and father were enjoying yet another honey moon, which had to be their seventh since they managed to bring Julia back to earth for good. Genn was off somewhere seducing someone, and everyone else had disappeared.

Gina sighed. Since her breakup with Khan, going back to the library of Shangri-la was too awkward, especially watching him become closer and closer to Lynn. She understood the necessity of breaking up with him; heck, it was her idea. But that didn't make it any easier.

The tomb raider sat down at her computer, and started randomly browsing through her games. Idly, she chanted as she saw each one. "Beat it, beat it, boring, beat it, boring, beat it, beat it, beat it, be…. Hey!"

She had found a game she had been given for Christmas, one she hadn't played much. World of Warcraft. She booted it up, and took a look. One character, Helba, level 60. And, if memory served her right, the new expansion brought the limit up to 70!

"I can't wait to see all that's in this expansion!" Gina cackled. Being a genius, Gina didn't play games the way most people did. She played, sure. But after beating the game (quickly) she would get into the modding scene. For MMORPG's, she also liked to try her hand at hacking. Not maliciously, but just to see what was around. And WOW had some funky source code, she remembered…

* * *

Nobuyuki Masaki sighed, and put an ice pack on his head. There were times he was ashemed of his ¼ alien son, Tenchi. After all, had he not spent his life raising him to be a fine boy? Had he not put a roof over his head, food on his plate, and clothes on his back? Was a little bit of peeping on his girlfriends so wrong, given all he had done?

Akyea certainly seemed to think so, and Ryoko agreed, hence the large, throbbing lump on his head. Didn't they understand? Didn't they know that having a moving target was so much more exciting than a magizine?

Fortuantly, for a man as recourcefull as Nobuyuki Masaki, there were alternitves. For example, a computer game he liked to play. One where he was unusually short, all the better for looking up skirts by "accdent".

The lecherous man sat at his computer, and logged in to World of Warcaft. It was a place where he could peep to his heart's content, and still remain a paragon of virtue, the kind that young girls looked up to for guidance!

His fingers played over the keyboard. 'Bear, logging in.'

* * *

Larva looked into a mirror, gazing at his blue haired reflection. "Is this good enough?" he quietly asked his companion. He was out of his normal, grim-reaper robes, and his mask was unusually absent.

"Yeah. But I would leave the scythe behind. And keep the hand covered." Shiina, the pink, bunny-like shinma replied. Not a lot of normal people had long, blood red fingernails.

Larva nodded, and faded out. He reappeared near an electronic games store.

Larva had a secret- he was bored out of his three hundred year old mind when Miyu was at school. Many years previously, he had bound himself to her, to protect her until she was finished ridding the world of shinma. And he was quite happy to do so. What he couldn't stand was the waiting for her to do boring things like school!

In an effort to combat boredom, had had found this new pastime: World of Warcraft. There, he had found a young girl with little in the way of a social life, and when ever Miyu was at school or with her friends, he would play, looking after people in Azaroth.

He had named his character after his blood red eyes: Crim.

* * *

Ami Mizuno thought that her World of Warcraft addiction was a secret, but one person knew about it: Gurio Umino. The boy who had had a crush on the girl genius ever since she had first beat him in a test. Not that she had noticed.

This had prompted a stratergy from the geekish boy: he would play WOW too. He would 'accdently' meet Ami, and become a close friend and trusted ally. When they were really good friends, he would sugest that they meet in real life. Then they would meet, and he would amaze her with how noble and trustworthy he was!

It wasn't much of a plan, not that he had noticed. By now, he was second in command of their guild, the Crimson Knights. He directly oversaw over a hundered players in the world, who spent most of their time keeping the World of Warcraft safe for players. They even had the official suport of the system adminsitrators!

In the digital world, Gurio Umino had what he never had in real life: Power, respect, and a cool name: Silver Knight!

* * *

"Hey! Let go of me!"

"Arrhhh! It's talking", one of the geeks screamed, and ran off. The rest grudgingly let go of the complaining person, and parted to make way for him.

He walked outside the shop, and brushed off his black school uniform coat. "Hmmph. Every time." The student checked his bag to make sure his purchase was safe. It was, and the sales people hadn't handed him an empty box. His World of Warcraft game card was safe, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

It was nerve wracking for him to go into a games store, or any electronic store for that matter. For some reason, geeks would run up to him and try and get an autograph. Then they'd try to kidnap him. For someone as respected in his class as he was, it was a truly confusing experience. Maybe they were prejudiced against people with large heads?

Mechazawa sighed, and walked back to school. Just two more periods to go, then he could go home and play World of Warcraft. Or maybe he would just skip the rest of school- after all; he went to Cromartie High, the delinquent capital.

Mechazawa laughed to himself, and scratched the top of his head with one of the two 'fingers' on his right hand. Who would ever guess that Mechazawa, the most respected guy in the third year, played as a young girl online every day? Who would guess that for at least two hours a day, he went by the name Mimiru?

* * *

Authors Notes:

The most warped idea I've ever came up with. A Ranma/ World of Warcraft/ .Hack/Sign/ Sailor Moon/ Vampire Princess Miyu/ Gold Diggers/ Tenchi/ Cromartie High crossover.

Don't worry if you don't know all the characters involved- this was a set up chapter, to give everyone an idea of who the cast is, and what their primary motivations are. It shouldn't make too much difference if you only know Ranma.

For those of you who don't know Cromartie High, Mechazawa is a walking joke. He is a robot, and looks like a rubbish bin with cartoony arms and legs. Only two of his schoolmates notice this however, the rest just think he has a huge head. This prompts all sorts of jokes, like when a doctor comes to give all the students checkups (that episode ended with Mechazawa visiting a mechanic, and with a new OS installed).


End file.
